Cherry Pie
by thejilyship
Summary: In which James is drunk and in love with a stranger and Lily is that stranger and won't stop teasing him about everything. Muggle AU/Diner AU


**AN: This is a one shot for Jilytober. Thanks to everyone who voted, I hope you like this!**

* * *

 **oOo**

James was almost positive that his head was going to split open and the contents would just spill right out onto the concrete. After a night out with the lads and having consumed more alcohol than he cared to recollect, he needed a good meal and a lot of water after the night he'd just had.

They'd just finished up with Peter's stag party, and while Sirius had tried to get them to stay out later, James had been glad when Peter declined, because James didn't want to be the only one who vomited. Damn Peter and his taste for fruity beverages that had too much sugar. And damn Sirius for telling him that he had to keep pace with him all night. Sirius didn't care what kind of alcohol they were drinking, he always drank a lot of it.

He was stupid. He didn't have to keep pace with Sirius, and he knew that. But he did it anyway, and now he was paying for it. And he would keep paying for it until next week probably.

He was also not headed home like he should have been doing. Instead he was walking toward a diner that was miraculously still open. He didn't know that there were any 24-hour diners near his place, and that was probably a good thing, since he would have gone in too often at three am if he had known.

He pushed the door open and a small bell chimed above his head. He quickly turned to look up, making his head and stomach swirl in protest and he had to grip the door handle for a moment so he didn't fall over or get sick.

"Oh no," Someone said from across the restaurant, and James assumed they were talking to someone else until he heard footsteps coming in his direction. He opened his eyes, not having realized that they were shut, and looked up to find himself face to face with perhaps the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She looked angry, but that did nothing to detract from her beauty, and nothing to stop him from staring at her either.

"You can't come in here this late and get sick. I'm not paid enough to clean up after drunks."

"Drunk?" James asked, doing his best to stand up and show her his most charming smile. He ran a hand through his hair, knowing that it had to be absolutely atrocious, but he had always thought he looked more dashing with his hair in total disarray anyway. "I am not some drunk. I am a hungry, customer."

"You're not a customer yet. You're hardly even in the diner actually." The waitress put a hand on her hip and waved her hand at him in a shooing motion. "And I'd rather you didn't come in, honestly."

"Oh I'm a customer. I've already decided what I'm going to eat and everything."

He watched her shoulders droop and realized that he must not look nearly as charming as he thought he did if she wasn't swooning over him already.

"Fine. But if you look like you're going to get sick, I'm going to drag you out of the diner myself, understand?"

"Crystle." He held up his hand in the a-okay gesture and she narrowed her eyes at him. "Sorry, I thought you were going to say, 'Do I make myself clear' but then you didn't." He shook his head and then started into the restaurant, toward the counter, though he had to side step her in the process.

Fucking hell she smelled good. Like cherry pie and something that reminded him distinctly of Christmas at his parent's house. One of those smells from when he was a kid though. The ones that instantly made you feel all nostalgic. James was a rather nostalgic person anyway and so he sighed and plopped himself down on one of the stools at the counter and spun himself around so he could rest his elbow on the counter. It was quite a graceful thing for a drunk man to accomplish.

"I used to have a cat," He said, looking at the waitress. "Her name was Chester."

She hardly glanced at him, and he was expecting at least two follow up questions, but all he got was a flip of her notepad and a semi-glare.

"What can I get you?"

"You don't want to know why I named my cat Chester? Even though she was a girl?"

"No. What can I get you?"

"Water please. Lots of water. And a burger. Some chips. Do you have cherry pie? You smell like cherry pie."

Again, she made no comment and just set her paper down and walked off in the direction of the kitchen. "Burger and chips!" She called into the doorway and James heard someone in the back of the diner call back. Lily turned around and picked up a glass and started filling it with water.

"I thought my cat was a boy when I got her. She was this big, orange, fluff ball of a cat and Chester just seemed to fit."

"I hope you remember this conversation tomorrow when you're sober."

"Chester was great, why wouldn't I want to remember her?"

"Why didn't you change her name when you found out that it was a she?"

She turned around and started toward him. He looked for a smile, but there wasn't one. She was humoring him, but he didn't mind.

"Lily," He read her name tag and the waitress' brow creased.

"You named her Lily?"

"No," He shook his head. "That's your name, right?" He nodded to her nametag.

She set the glass down in front of him and nodded. "That's why it's on my nametag."

"It's a lovely name," He said, "And I couldn't change the name of my cat because she was a Chester, it didn't matter that she was a girl." He shrugged and then picked up the water and started taking a drink.

"Don't drink it too quickly, I'm still worried that you're going to get sick. "

"It's nice of you to worry about me," James smiled at her, but then when he went to set the water down, he almost spilled it. He would have spilled it if Lily hadn't reached out and stopped it from falling over.

"Don't make a mess or I'll have you clean it up."

"Oh, if I make a mess, I'll insist upon cleaning it up." He assured her, chuckling a bit. "Fuck, I don't remember glasses being so hard to set down."

"You're drunk, remember?" And he could have sworn that she almost smiled at that. He just laughed again.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that." He thought about taking another drink but he didn't want to spill the water and have Lily stop with her almost smile.

"I'll go and get the pie for you." She said.

"Wait!" He said, stopping her from turning around. "I want to wait to have the pie. If you bring it out now, I'll just eat it because it's here."

"And then you'll get sick, won't you?"

"It's my stupid mate's fault. It was his stag party tonight and we let him pick the drinks... because you know, it was his stag party. But he likes the sugary, fruity drinks, which taste good, but you can't drink too many of them."

"But you did anyway?"

"Oh definitely." He nodded.

"Well then you'll find no sympathy here."

"I don't want your sympathy, I just want you to smile at me again."

"I don't think that I've smiled at you," She tilted her head and James could see that she had a few freckles along the bridge of her nose.

"You almost smiled at me though and I'd like for that to happen again."

"You really are drunk, aren't you? Like, really drunk?"

"It was the vodka cocktails that did me in." He lamented, letting his head rest against his shoulder. She nodded at him and then picked up a rag. He watched as she walked out from behind the counter and started wiping down the tables in the diner. All of them were empty, he was the only customer here at the moment. He wanted to say something else to her, but he figured she might have walked away from him so that she didn't have to talk to him. He could wait until she came back.

He needed a minute anyway, a minute to talk his stomach into behaving and to talk his head into not pounding so much. He didn't even think his headache had anything to do with the alcohol, just Sirius's horrendous rendition of Somebody to Love. Fuck his friends were dumbasses.

Though so was he, and he was very aware of that as he continued to teeter back and forth on the stool instead of heading back up to his apartment that was less than a block away. Eating was a good idea, but he didn't need to be here to do that. And at home, he couldn't piss anyone off but himself. And it wouldn't even be his right-now-self, it would be his hungover-self tomorrow morning. And the hungover-James of tomorrow was already going to be pissed at the right-now-James, so why not piss him off a bit more instead of upsetting the pretty waitress?

Lily came back a few minutes later, before James could talk himself into leaving and just as the cook called out that James' order was complete. She walked back to get it and then set it down in front of him. "Here you are."

"Thank you," He nodded and pushed his glasses up his nose before he sat up straight and picked up his burger. His stomach should have recoiled at the thought of eating a burger, but it didn't. He took a large bite and sighed, "This is amazing."

"Should I bring the rubbish bin over just in case?"

"Oh no," He shook his head and took another bite. "If I've made it this long without... well then I should be good. Especially now that I've got food. Thank you though."

"Of course," She didn't walk away this time, "So what's your name and how long have you known this mate of yours?"

"I'm James," He said, holding his left hand out to her. He didn't realize that it was his left hand, but Lily did another almost smile as she shook it. "My mate Peter is the one who is getting married. But Sirius is the one who got me drunk. Remus told me that I was going to hate myself in the morning, and he's usually right about these things, but I didn't listen to him. I've known all of them for over a decade."

"That's a long time." Lily nodded. "Was it a huge party?"

James shook his head. "Nah, just the four of us. We went to a few different pubs that we haven't really frequented since we were in uni, and we just had a blast. I'm terrified if Sirius ever decides to get married because his stag party would murder me. Twice. And then I'd have to do myself in to get rid of the hangover that I'd be suffering with a month after the fact." He shook his head. Lily gave him another almost smile and he grinned at her.

"What about you? How has your night been?" He asked, setting his burger down so that he could reach for some sauce to put on his chips.

Lily shrugged one of her shoulders and pulled her drink out from under the counter, taking a sip before answering him. "It's been alright I suppose. The night shift is always interesting. And I suppose I should apologize for trying to swat you out of the store, but you aren't the first drunk to wander in and the last one did make a mess."

James made a face, but didn't pause in eating his chips. "I would have thrown me out too, no apology necessary."

"Thanks," She nodded.

"Do you normally work the nightshift?" She shook her head.

"No, I don't like to stay up quite as late as this shift requires, nor do I like being pretty much alone with anyone who happens to come in off the street. But my friend Benjy was desperate and I know the cook, so I agreed." James nodded.

"I'm not normally up late," He ran a hand through his hands and then picked up his glass of water. "I was in bed by nine yesterday," He chuckled. "I suppose that's what happens when you get a stupid bloody job that gets you out of bed at five in the fucking morning." He narrowed his brow in frustration, but then quickly his face became apologetic. "Sorry, I didn't mean to swear like that." He hadn't realized that he'd already sworn, or that she hadn't seemed to care.

Lily laughed and James felt the sound travel down his spine. That wasn't an almost smile, that was a real laugh and that was better than a smile. At least he thought it was, but then she looked at him and she was smiling with all her teeth for a moment and James wasn't sure if he'd just been electrocuted or if she was a witch and had just placed him under a spell.

Though, he supposed that there was no reason that it couldn't have been both.

"I don't care if you swear. This is a diner and it's past two in the morning. You can say whatever you want." She waved her hand and then tucked a lock of hair back behind her ear. It had fallen out of her plait. "It's not like there are any kids wandering about."

"That's true," James said, still feeling a bit slack-jawed. "So, I can say anything I'd like to?"

"I don't mind." She shrugged her shoulder.

"You have the most beautiful laugh I have ever heard."

She opened her mouth and then closed it. "You're drunk."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I'm not telling the truth."

She looked him over for a moment and then shook her head. "You want your pie now?"

James nodded and pushed up his glasses again. "Do you make the pies?"

"No, of course not. I'm just the waitress."

"You mean The Waitress. You're not 'just' anything." He hoped that he'd emphasized the proper words and finished off the last couple bits of his burger while she was fetching the pie. When she came back, she set it next to him and then took his glass to refill.

"Do you do this often?"

"Do what?" He asked, picking up his fork and trying to decide where he should get the first bite of the pie from. Sometimes he liked to eat if from back to front, the crust was one of his favorite parts of the pie.

"Do you just show up at random diners and flirt with whatever waitress is there?"

"No," He narrowed his brow and looked up at her before he looked back at his pie and slid his fork into the flakey crust. "I normally make myself dinner, unless I go out with friends or order in. Alright, I normally order in, but I'm not normally a fan of going out by myself. I only came in here just now because my flat is on this block and I saw the picture of the burger hanging in the window while I was trying to walk home."

"Are you lying?" She asked, tilting her head.

"No," He took another bite of pie. "But if you already think that I am, saying that I'm not won't change your mind."

"That's true."

"So?"

"So?"

"Do you think I'm a liar?"

She bit her bottom lip and James just about fell off his chair. At least, in his head, he almost fell off his chair. In reality, he just froze in place. "No, I suppose I don't think that you're a liar."

He cleared his throat. "Well that's a relief. It would be harder to get your number if you thought I was a dishonest man."

"I would be very difficult then."

"But now?"

"Now?" She grinned at him.

"How difficult would it be now?"

She chuckled and looked down at her hands before looking back up at him. "I mean, I suppose it wouldn't be all that difficult now."

"Well that's a relief." He finished off his pie, wondering why diner pie was always so small. "Because I'd really like the chance to try this again when I'm not completely shit-faced."

"That is, if you don't change your mind once your sober."

He narrowed his brow and clicked his tongue. "I really don't see myself changing my mind about you. Unless I found out that you were secretly a serial killer or in cahoots with The Master."

"The M- well no, I can promise you that I'm neither of those things."

"That's good. Then I won't change my mind."

"I'm not convinced."

"You will be."

"You don't want to know why I'm not convinced." James had been assuming it was some self-conscious bullshite, but she was still grinning at him and there was a sparkle in her eye that wasn't there a moment ago.

"Why aren't you convinced?"

"Because you've completely embarrassed yourself in front of me tonight. You're going to wake up tomorrow and never want to show your face in here again."

"I haven't gotten sick."

"Yet."

"I won't get sick."

"We'll see."

"And I'm not going to be too embarrassed. I mean, you have agreed to give me your number, so I couldn't have embarrassed myself too much."

"No, I haven't. I just said that it wouldn't be too difficult for you to get it."

James pressed his lips together and tried to think back to what he exact words had been, but she was still smiling at him, and between that and the alcohol, he would just have to take her word for it. She could say anything and he would have no choice but to take her word for it. "Right," He relented. "Well then, my apologize. I did not mean to be presumptuous."

"I know, if you were being presumptuous on purpose, I wouldn't be talking to you. I'm not even sure presumptuous is the right word for that. You're just drunk."

"You're having too much fun with my being inebriated."

"Possibly. Though all I'm really doing is constantly reminding you of the fact."

"I assure you madam, I do not need to be reminded. I'm well aware."

"Are you talking like an English Gentleman on purpose, or is that just what's happening now."

"I am an English Gentleman, my lady."

"You sound Scottish to me. At least you did earlier. Now I'm wondering if perhaps you live in the queen's basement just for fun."

"I am Scottish," He nodded. "And the queen would never let me live in her basement. Though I did get to visit the royal household once on school holiday in year ten."

"You went to one of those posh preppy schools, didn't you?"

"It's not my fault though, so please don't hold it against me." He put his hand over his heart and made sure to talk with an extra thick Scottish accent. Lily laughed again and he smiled up at her.

"You know, I suppose it's not normally the fault of the children who get stuck in those schools."

"It's entirely my parent's fault."

"And what did they do that to you for?"

"Something about wanting me to be pretentiously educated." Lily laughed again and James ran a hand through his hair, wondering if he could do this all night. Sit here at the counter and make Lily laugh. He'd quite like to.

"Well did they accomplish their goal?"

"Yeah, Oxford afterward and now I've got one of those poshy, grownup jobs that makes you want to drill things into your head."

Lily didn't laugh at that though, she just narrowed her eyes and bit her bottom lip. Though her biting her lip had an entirely different effect on him than before.

"You shouldn't do something if it makes you want to drill things into your head."

"Oh," He started shaking his head. "No, I mean, I suppose it's not quite as bad as all of that. I can be a bit over dramatic when I'm drunk," He smiled and she nodded. "And when I'm sober if I'm being honest."

"What is it that you wanted to be when you were a kid?"

James had to think about it for a moment, the alcohol and her lip biting to blame for any hesitation, "I think I wanted to be a football player for a while. I also wanted to be a teacher."

"At one of those posh schools?"

"No, like a primary school teacher at a regular school. Where I could also be a football coach. That's sounds nice."

"Why didn't you become that then?"

"Didn't really seem to fit in with everything else." He shrugged, wondering why they weren't joking about pirates anymore. Had they been joking about pirates? He couldn't remember, but they could be. "What did you want to be when you were little?" He asked, before she could comment on his answer.

"I wanted to be a ballerina." She grinned. "But then I changed my mind when I was seven and decided that I needed to be a zookeeper. And then I wanted to be an astronaut. And then a doctor and then a reporter and then and then... I've never really been able to make up my mind."

"Well why are we meant to have it all worked out by now anyway? Why can't we change our minds? I don't think there's anything wrong with not knowing."

"Sure, but you only think that because you hate your job. If you loved your job, you'd be preaching the opposite. That's how it always goes."

"It shouldn't be how it goes." James picked up his water and took a few drinks, hoping to help clear his head. If only it worked that quickly. Though now that he thought about it, his head was much clearer than when he had walked in.

"Are you getting tired now?" Lily asked, leaning over the counter, her chin resting on her fist now. His eyes snapped back to hers. He hadn't realized that he'd zoned out.

"Why would you ask that?" He tilted his head and Lily chuckled.

"Because I agreed with you a moment ago and you didn't really seem to hear me."

"Damn. I get the feeling that you're not going to do that all that often. I should have been listening."

"Well if you hadn't drank so much..."

"You keep taking the mick, but if I hadn't drank so much, then I wouldn't have wandered in here so late. And then where would we be?" Lily pressed her lips together for a moment and James thought that he might get lucky, that she might agree with him again. But then she pulled out a grin that he'd yet to see.

"If you hadn't wandered in here, then I would be having a much quieter night."

"And you're really going to stand there and pretend that that's what you want? A quieter night? I mean you probably didn't want to have to deal with my almost getting sick, but would you really have preferred that I never walked in."

"You're putting a lot of stock in your drunk flirting skills."

"Well why shouldn't I? My sober flirting skill are insane. If I wasn't drunk right now, you might have already agreed to marry me."

"Marry you? Really?"

"Really, really."

"Does your self-confidence also skyrocket when you're drunk?"

"No, that's another side effect of the posh schools I went to."

"Ah, almost forgot about those."

"Really?"

"Nah, not even a little bit."

"I was wearing antlers earlier. That's not posh."

"It's a shame I missed the antlers."

"You like antlers?" Lily shrugged.

"Maybe." The door to the diner opened and a small group of people walked in. James didn't know what they were doing here at three thirty in the morning looking perfectly sober, so he looked at Lily, "Students. They're here a lot." She grinned at him before turning her attention to the new arrivals. She knew their names and regular orders. James wondered if perhaps there would come a time when he had a regular order in this place, and Lily knew it.

James drank the rest of his water while he waited for her to put their order in and watched them go and sit at a table and start talking a bit too animatedly for this hour of the night- morning? He really needed to go to bed.

"It's nearly four now," Lily said when she walked back over to the counter. "Believe it or not, people are going to start showing up soon."

"Well at least I don't have a job that makes me get up this early."

"You always looking for the bright side of things?"

"It's not fun to always be looking for the bad stuff."

She opened her mouth and then closed it again and nodded. "You're right. You also need to leave."

"You're kicking me out?"

"Tell me you aren't fighting to keep your eyes open."

"I like what I'm looking at, why wouldn't I fight to keep them open."

Lily laughed again and started picking up his dishes. "I work the dinner shift tomorrow. You can come round six. That's when my break will be. "

"Do I get your number yet?"

"You'll get it if you show up tomorrow, how's that?"

James smiled at her, doing his best to be his most charming. "That's more than fair." He still didn't want to leave, but he knew he should before he fell asleep on the counter. He had already embarrassed himself enough for one night.

"Alright, alright. Up you go, your legs still work, right?"

"Yeah, they still work." James laughed, standing up and then reaching up to fix his glasses again. He pulled out his wallet and paid for his meal. "I'll see you here, tomorrow at six."

"If you still want to." She reminded him.

"I'll be here." He put his palm against the counter and leaned forward. "Right here, in about fourteen hours." Lily smiled.

"Alright. You going to bring your antlers?" James snorted, a hand going up to his hair as he turned toward the door. He leaned against the door with his back, and paused to look at her for a moment. The brilliant green eyes, the messy bun of red hair, the freckles on her nose and the dazzling smile. His heart was excited and his stomach was in knots and he couldn't wait for six o'clock tomorrow.

"For you? Anything."


End file.
